Austin Powers 4: The Koopa with the Golden Mojo

"You couldn't be any more right." Jade said under her breath to Murcury as she crossed her arms and stared out the side window. "Not like you wouldn't know how that is.."

Orinda shook his head at Lemmy's stupidity and sickening ability to turn his head like that. "Hey stupid," he said as he pointed at the front windshield, "watch where your going."

Wart was sitting on a bench, eyes all glazed over as he felt like he was ready to puke his guts out. With a dirty, wore out blue mail bag sitting on the bench with him just to his left, he had a bit too much to drink.

Getting out of the car, Fire walked over to Wart and sat down to his right side. Looking at the wrecked amphibian, he shook his head. "Wart!" he said to him in disappointment. "What are you doing here? My dad is waiting for his artificial pubes in the mail and you're wasted.. AGAIN!"

Wart looked at Fire all glazed out and wanted to say something back, but would spew vegetables if he even opened his mouth. Feeling something trying to come up, he put a slimy webbed hand over his mouth and grew a pale green.

Murcury poked his head out of the driver side door window, blonde wig and all. "Wayne!" he yelled out at Fire with a scowl on his face. "We can't afford to do this! Live in the now!"

Fire turned around and glared at Murcury. "Don't go bald on us!" he huffed as he then stomped back to the Pacer. Getting back in the passenger seat, he slammed the door shut. "We need to catch Goldmember!"

About tearing the bow off her head, Jade kicked the back of Fire's seat hard. "Good lord!" she screamed at him. "Do you live life in slow motion?!"

Murcury hit the gas and sped off in the direction Lemmy and his getaway vehicle were heading in, hoping that he would catch them in time. "Sometimes I wonder if we're even father and son.." he grumbled to Fire, not even giving him a second glance.

"I'm coming!" Lemmy shouted into his dashboard intercom as he drove on towards the hideout. "Surface so I get zis tube baby inside the walls!"

Rubbing his chest seductively, Fire purred out loud as he then just noticed Murcury's reply. "I don't see the resemblance," he said with a sly wink to the supposed camera, "but Goldmember is getting away!"

Jade couldn't take this anymore, she not only had the worst view in the house, or rather yet the vehicle. Rolling down her passenger side window, she poked her head outside and puked all over the door and the asphalt that seemed to quickly roll by them underneath.

A submarine that was shaped like a pair of butt cheeks bubbled up and above the surface of the lake that was laying just at the end of the road that Lemmy was driving down. "Hurry up!" Koopette shouted through the intercom in his vehicle as she cranked a metal lever to her left furiously, causing the cheeks to spread wide leaving just enough of an opening to get a vehicle through.

"Looks like we made it!" Lemmy sang out of tune as he drove his vehicle in between the pair of cheeks and entered the lair. Turning his head upside down, he looked at Orinda in the passenger seat. "Barry Manilow." he whispered.

Orinda just shook his head sadly at Lemmy as he then resorted to give him the bird. "God your an idiot," he sighed sarcastically as he crossed his arms and pouted. "No wonder Dr. Evil likes you."

Koopette yanked on the lever again causing the cheeks to close back together. The lair began to sink back into the watery depths, bubbling immensely as a whistling sound came from between the crack.

Wearing a blue bandana over his eyes, Murcury pointed out towards the bubbling mass a mile and a half in front of them as he kept the other hand on the steering wheel. "Quick guys!" he shouted. "They're getting away!"

Sporting a purple bandanna over his eyes, Fire shrugged. "So what," he said with a grin. "They always do that."

Wiping vomit off of her chin and chest, Jade coughed and poked her head in between the two. "Do you ever wonder why we haven't caught them?" she asked, sounding rather ticked off at this point. "It wouldn't possibly have anything to do with how you two are acting."

Turning to face Jade, Fire shrugged. "Of course," he said as he fooled around with the intercom on the dash, "we blame it on the script writers!"

"That's IT." Murcury shouted as he pulled the car to a screeching halt just in front of the pier that loomed out towards and over the lake. Getting out of the car, he kicked the front right tire in frustration.

"What's it?" Fire responded as he got out of the car and stood there watching Murcury. "And how are we going to catch Goldmember now?"

"Easy," Murcury said as he pulled out a remote control from his shell and hit the big red button on it. "The international spy's secret weapon. The cutscene."

~~~

"Ladies and gentlemen," Koopette said facing the window that peered into the dark sea ahead of them, "welcome to my underwater lair!" Holding a finger to her mouth, she attempted and failed to do so. "Isn't it quite.. bubbly?"

Coughing loudly, Xiuhcoatl looked at Koopette with a serious mug and nodded. "Of course Doctor Evil," he said as he clasped his hands together. "But don't you think we better execute the plan?"