Heather's Journal Entries

I'm going to share entries from Heather's journal she kept while living with me. I don't believe anybody has ever read these besides me. Enjoy.

Wednesday August 13, 2003

Dear Journal,

As I gather myself for bed tonight, once again I take to you to reflect upon the day's events. It started very early and not voluntarily, around 2 AM or so. I was awoken by my mom's crying echoing down the hall from the living room. She had been drinking again because of a monstrous man who she was with has continued to torment and physically lash out at her, which made me so mad but because my own lashing out could get me severely beaten by a free all I could do was hold my tongue and comfort her once the free was gone. I came from my quarters and sat by her side. Stroking my hair, I could feel her tears drop upon my head as she kept on choking out "Why do I take this?" and "I just want to die." There I sat for at least an hour and a half or even more, knowing that my presence would calm her down but it would take a lot of time.

Lucky for me today, I had no chores. Not because I had spent a good part of my morning with momma but because it was my day off from all the chores. Nick, the love of my life, alternates with me and is doing so today. They aren't much for chores but they keep us busy and give us a small glimmer of satisfaction. I've never forgotten my children Heaven and Sweet, I know soon I'll be back in contact with them and we'll be a happy family again. Who knows, maybe we'll have a third daughter.. picking up a lost soul who like us has seen the same things we have. Funny how it works, but my love is unconditional all the same. You take the treasures that come your way, never question them.

Sunday September 14, 2003

Dear Journal,

Today was a day of rest and recovery, granted by my mom or my Mistress as she is known as here. I recorded all the crazy events from yesterday in my previous entry, from the extensive chores to get ready for the dinner party down to the busy meal itself. There was about a dozen here, eight Masters and four Mistresses including my Mistress. I've seemed to gotten down serving a whole meal by now but it is still overwhelming to think about as a whole. I have learned to take it all one step at a time instead of rushing in and stumbling over my own actions.

I've had something on my mind lately and I can't keep myself from wondering or smiling. Three weeks ago, Nick told me about a daughter he had been trying to find for many years now, her name the last he knew was Angelic Kitten. As soon as I get the chance, I want to help him find her. He has so little information to look her up over but I believe anything is possible, as far as I know some people just pop up in our lives when we least expect them to and where we don't expect. We travel different paths in life, sometimes so different from each other's, but our destination is likely to end the same.

When the day comes that Nick and I do find her, I can't wait to gain another kiddo. I wonder what she'd be like and how quickly we'd connect? I wonder too what she has been searching for in her life that she has badly missed? All these questions and more, when we meet I hope I will be able to answer for her. Stability is one of the most comforting things we can find in life, sure there's still hard work we must endure but at least the worry and doubts that we feel subside and embrace those who give us such stability.

What an interesting point of view from my sister! I love how interested she was in meeting Angelic, no doubt in my mind that they would of gotten along!

Keep sharing momma! I would love to see more of her entries..

All this feels like yesterday to me still. A lot of what she said is still relevant.

Both of those made me cry so much. Miss my momma...

Thursday December 18, 2005

Dear Journal,

Most days I'd record my day at home here, but this is special.. perhaps an understatement, beyond special to my heart at least. I got to visit with my kiddo SweetBaby in chat tonight, the first time in quite some time.. and despite years passing by and our paths going separate ways here we are unchanged! She is such a wonderful young lady and I'm so PROUD of her. It isn't easy to come a long way from all the hell she's fought through in her life but alas, she's done it! She's married to my online grandson Lamond now, which I think is just wonderful. I don't have a doubt in my mind that she'll do an amazing job raising his little girl, after all she did raise my Grandma Magik! Those darn toxic gummies, I DON'T miss those..

Back on topic, my kiddo and I had a very long and productive talk tonight. I still love and admire her with all my heart and she has never stopped doing the same for me. I'm glad I'm her momma.. cross that out.. PROUD to be her momma! I couldn't be any more blessed with my children than I am now.. even if I haven't gotten the chance to meet one of them. In time, I will meet her.. cross that out again.. Nick and I will meet her. Angelic by name only? I'm absolutely certain that is the truth.. but it doesn't make the love any less.

That's amazing. I wasn't aware she felt Angelic was her kiddo before they even met..

Made me cry again... one of those days and moments I've always held close to my heart. Proud of and miss my momma.....

Unconditional love for someone she didn't get to meet.. oh my goodness.. ~sighs~

know it meant a lot to her that Sweet and Lamond found each other. my grandma Heather could write and reach out to anybody sure miss her

I have no doubt in her love for sis Angelic. Know if something meant the world to you dad it meant the world to her.

My sister loved everybody! What a wonderful piece of hers to share, thank you so much momma! *hugs tightly*

HeavenKoopa-Dragon wrote:

I have no doubt in her love for sis Angelic. Know if something meant the world to you dad it meant the world to her.

For sure bbg. For sure.

~hugsss dad ~ Love you pops..

Grandma Heather was right on that I couldn't of asked for anybody better to help raise my kid than Mileena