I'm sure everybody here has fought these at one point or another in their life. Your dependencies may have been different but so often they are life changers when you come out of them at the end.
My drinking and drug use to drown out the abusive people in my life back in my 20s and 30s is a very long story but the first battle of this long war of life happened when I was just about to turn 18. Everybody here knows of Randall, those who don't would be more familiar with the folklore as the man who RPd Mario here in the KKE. He sent me letters in the mail saying he was 17 and looking to meet someone, despite what everybody in the family here would say about him I thought maybe he was just trying to sound more mature here and hence lie about age. I wasn't thinking and the other people I wouldn't let them discourage me from meeting him. I met him in a café in Detroit that he agreed to and he claimed to be the father of the 17 year old I knew. He said "Hey Kali, until my son gets here let's get to know each other better." I remember being a bit nervous about this but I was like, okay so he's a good dad. He said he wanted to discuss plans of his "son" wanting to marry me despite only being pen pals and he chose a private and quiet place in the back of the café to talk these plans.
It didn't become a talk. He forced me down to the ground, whispered if you do what I say I won't hurt you, tore my pants off and raped me. It was the worst experience of my life and all I remember after a few minutes he put his clothes back on, gave me that "I'll kill you if you tell anybody" and walked out like nothing happened.
The next chapter was drugs and alcohol to drown out the horrible pain I suffered at the hands of that man because I was so scared to tell anybody because I really thought he would find me again and make me pay the ultimate.
It'll be 25 years this next April since that day. I had a long and tough fight with the drinks and the drugs but I've been clean for almost 11 years now.
I'm sure y'lls battles may or may not be as bad as mine were but I'd like to just know if you've been through anything tough that changed the outcome of your life and who you are this present day.